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"I’m so fat." says the 93 pound girl.
“I’m so broken out.” says the girl with flawless skin.
“I’m so ugly.” says the girl with five boyfriends.
“I’m so stupid.” says the girl with the 98 on her calc test.
“I’m so fucking done with you bitches.” says myself while holding a machete to their heads.

You might be a dumb bitch if you:

- refuse to help someone with their homework and call it “cheating”

- look someone up and down right when you see them

- over exaggerate the “mouth opening reflex” when you put on mascara

- wear fake eye lashes

- get spray tans

- wear two push up bras

- think a size 6 is fat

- call yourself fat when you’re a size 2

- call yourself fat

- txt lyk dis

- tweet about every single relationship issue you have

- post more than one Instagram picture a day

- tell yourself Happy Birthday

- sneeze like a chipmunk fart

- call a boy you’ve run into in public twice a “stalker”

- flirt with your teacher

- post a selfie once a day (Double dumb bitch: call yourself ugly in the selfie caption)

- refuse to eat in front of males

- make the focus of your selfies your boobs

- bend down in pictures to show off your ass/boobs

- have a foundation line along your jaw

- get dermal peircings

- put on too much body spray

- act like you’re smarter than everyone

- dye the shit out of your hair until it’s dead

- mix up “you’re” and “your” or “lose” and “loose”

- say that you love country music and wear some stupid, generic, sexual cowgirl outfit to a rodeo

- tweet about other girls’ looks

- “jokingly” ask for sex on social media

- tweet anything about being naked

- have a fake, high-pitched shriek laugh

- sing loudly and confidently when you suck

- say you’re a professional twerker (there are exceptions)

- are a feminist

- whine when the teacher doesn’t give homework

- are extremely opinionated about everything and are super “anti-conformist”

- act fake with pitchy voices and such

You might be a douchebag if you:

- wear 7 gallons of hair gel every day

- feel the need to back into your parking spot and you drive a Prius-sized car

- wear jewelry

- wear sunglasses indoors

- wear 2 pairs of socks or more at the same time

- cut off the sleeves down to your waist on every shirt you own

- take selfies in the bathroom ( Double Douche: if you are shirtless/flex in the mirror)

- wear your headphones around your neck at school

- only tweet by way of subtweets so the rest of us have to read your stupid shit

- wear snapbacks with the sticker still intact

- wear snapbacks almost falling off your head

- wear snapbacks

- call country music “gay”

- wear color-changing glasses or colored contacts

- wear basketball shoes outside of basketball

- speak stupidly to your teachers

- wear colored preppy shorts with moccasins every single day

- have bumper stickers that express your love of partying

- take pictures of yourself “getting turnt”

- post pictures of your girlfriend calling her “Bae,” “Bby,” or “Future Wifey”

- have clearly disproportionate, big ass tires

- wear lax pennies outside of lacrosse

- grow your hair to the back of your knees (there are exceptions to this)

- tweet about dubstep and trap music when you’ve heard one song

- honk your horn ALL THE TIME

- wear mid calves with dress shorts

- speed 20 mph + over the speed limit

- flaunt your wealth as much as humanly possible

- treat your family like shit

- be too touchy

- call a girl a “prude”

- be a vegan

- have no manners

- talk about a girl’s period

- ask for nudes

- say it’s unattractive when girls cuss

- tweet super emotional things every other tweet

- make out with your girlfriend like it’ll be your last time ever seeing each other between classes

- pretend to be straight when you are clearly not

- swing your lanyard like a lasso

- flirt with other girls when you have a girlfriend

- don’t have opinions on anything

- act like you’re above everyone

- flirt with female teachers

I thought I’d make a list.

Les Miserables-

  • Jean Valjean
  • Javert
  • Gavroche
  • Eponine
  • Enjolras
  • Fantine

Teen Wolf-

  • Erica
  • Boyd

Harry Potter-

  • Harry’s parents
  • Cedric Diggory
  • Sirius Black
  • Albus Dumbledore
  • Hedwig
  • Alastor Moody
  • Dobby
  • Fred Weasley
  • Remus Lupin
  • Nymphadora Tonks
  • Severus Snape

The Book Thief-

  • Hanz
  • Rosa
  • Rudy

Hunger Games-

  • Rue
  • Thresh
  • Old man from District 11
  • Cinna
  • Mags
  • Wiress
  • Finnick
  • Boggs
  • Prim

Up- Ellie

The Green Mile- John Coffey

The Last Song- Ronnie’s dad

A Walk to Remember- Jamie

Moulin Rouge- Satine

Gran Torino- Walt Kowalski

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas- Bruno and Shmuel

Glory- 54th Massachusetts Regiment(based on real but fake characters)

Gladiator- Maximus (and his family)

Lion King- Mufasa

Where the Red Fern Grows- Dan and Ann

Great Gatsby- Jay Gatsby

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEREK (and myself) All in favor of an episode where Stiles/Isaac plan a surprise party for him? Anyway, here’s this little nod to Trey Songz

Go girl, it’s your birthday
Open wide, I know you’re thirsty

We don’t buy no drinks at the bar
We pop champagne ‘cause we got that dough

Let me hear you

If you want me

Blue Eyes Theories

Some of these have issues and contradictions with the story but you never know, right?

  • They have killed someone
  • Someone who they are in love with is killed
  • Or they’ve been really separated from someone they are in love with
  • They have been terribly hurt/scarred
  • They secretly hate themselves
  • They have betrayed someone deeply
  • They’ve wanted to die
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